My testimony

Here is the transcript of my portion of my testimony that I gave in church on Easter Sunday, April 16, 2017. My husband Eric and I were blessed to be able to share with our church family. Eric also shared at this time about the tremendous support that we received during my illness and recovery. I hope my testimony is a blessing to you!

My testimony

My name is Martha Groeber, and I’ve been through a lot in the past year. My journey started in July, when I developed some nasal congestion. I thought that I had developed an allergy and took some allergy medicine. When it didn’t improve in a couple of weeks, I went to see a doctor. He thought that I had an allergy and gave me more medicine. A couple of weeks later, it hadn’t improved and back I went to a doctor. This time a sinus infection was suspected, and I was given more medicine. I soon developed a hacking cough and congestion so bad that I couldn’t sleep at night. I also completely lost my appetite. I returned to my doctor, who took an x-ray and told me that I had pneumonia. On the morning of August 19, I woke with one thought - “Something is not right.” Eric drove me to Kaiser Emergency at once that morning. Upon admission, a CT scan revealed that I had blood clots throughout my torso - on my liver, kidneys, spleen, in my lungs, and, most ominously, in my heart. I was immediately put on blood thinners and admitted to the hospital. Over the course of a week, many tests were run on me to determine what was going on. In a few days, my rheumatologist found a blood marker that pointed to a very rare disease called Wegener’s vasculitis, an auto-immune condition in which the body begins to attack the blood vessels. As the various tests began ruling out other conditions, including lung cancer, the Wegener’s blood marker remained. 

Unfortunately, I developed another rare complication that delayed my treatment for Wegener’s. On August 22, after another CT scan, I returned to my hospital room and noticed that my left foot felt like it was asleep. I figured that maybe a nerve had gotten pinched during the procedure. However, the tingling feeling didn’t go away. Very shortly, I couldn’t stand on my foot and my foot started turning purple. The doctors decided that I must have developed a blood clot in my foot. On August 27, I had a three-hour surgery to remove the blood clot. After the surgery, my doctor came into post-op and told me that the surgery had been unsuccessful. My only option was to remove part of my leg.

I was so fortunate to have my family near me during this time. My husband, despite having a new job, spent as much time with me as he could. My parents flew in from Pennsylvania for what was supposed to be a long weekend and turned into over a week. My youngest son came several times a week as well. My oldest son is in college in Arizona and was told to please stay there and finish his degree! When I received the news about my leg, Eric and my parents were right there with me.

My decision was whether the surgery would be above or below the knee. My vascular surgeon was very concerned that with the level of infection and my weakened condition due to the Wegener’s, a below-knee amputation would not be successful. After much prayer and discussion with my family, I decided to take my best chance and have my leg amputated above the knee. On August 31, I went in for surgery. Eric, my parents, and Pastor Bob were all there for me that time. The surgery was very successful; my vascular surgeon was very happy with the result.

However, I still had to deal with the Wegener’s. The treatment for this disease includes chemo, steroids, and blood thinners. The day after my surgery, I had my first round of chemo. Due to my  weakened condition, I did not tolerate the chemo well and was extremely sick for two days. By the third day, I was feeling better.

Then we began the task of informing our friends and family about my condition. People knew I was in the hospital, but during the week before surgery, we kept details quiet. I needed to mentally deal with the situation first. After we informed people, the outpouring of love and support was amazing. I received so many cards and letters, and I had so many visitors that I actually had to keep a schedule! I was humbled by the love given to me by so many.

I was finally released from the hospital after 26 days. I was fortunate that my sister and niece were there that day as they took me to Brookside in Redlands, where I would stay for rehab. I was blessed while I was there, as I had a God-picked roommate, a wonderful Christian lady who became a dear friend of mine. I also had Christian therapists as well. I stayed in rehab for 18 days, until I could hop along with the walker for a sufficient distance.

I returned home on October 1. I had been away from home for 42 days. I was basically house-bound for four months as I was confined to a walker or wheelchair and could only leave when someone could drive me. During this time, I had four more rounds of chemo, all of which I tolerated well with adjustments to the medicines. I was fitted for a prosthetic leg as well. Being at home was an adjustment. At first I could do very little, but over the months I was able to pick up more of the household chores as I gained strength. Further CT scans also showed the inflammation on my organs had receded.

I received my prosthetic leg at the end of January. I resumed driving and took care of a lot of appointments that I hadn’t been able to do previously. I was so happy to be able to return to my job as an instructional aide at the beginning of March. I feel like I was able to get most of my life back at that point.

Throughout this whole process, I have had to rely on God. None of this makes any sense if you don’t have God in your life. With God, we know that everything has a purpose and a reason. At 50 years old, I’ve been through difficult things in my life that God has used for good at a later time, often to help people going through a similar situation. I’ve tried to stay positive. I have my ups and downs. I’ve tried to feel sorry for myself, but somehow I just can’t work that up very well. I have so much to be grateful for - life itself, my family and friends, a job that let me take 6 1/2 months off. I try to be grateful for the little things - eating a meal with loved ones, being able to drive myself and go where I need to go, taking care of myself. These were all things I couldn’t do at one point and have been given back. I’m even grateful that I have my right driving leg. There are very few things that I love to do that I can’t do anymore.

The number one thing I’ve heard through this is “Your faith is such an inspiration. I’m not sure if I could do the same.” Well, my answer is a qualified yes. Yes, I absolutely believe that you can do the same as I can. But your faith has to be in place before the time of trial.  Soldiers and athletes spend months and years practicing, long before the battle or the big game. It is the same for spiritual trials. 

Like many of you, I’ve struggled with developing my relationship with Christ. Life gets busy, and it’s hard to set aside time for daily devotions. Fortunately, I love to read, so spending time in the Bible, devotionals, and Christian books is easy and enjoyable for me. It’s the applying all the principles to my life that gets difficult. For many years, I had the habit of my quiet time but still struggled to feel close to God. It wasn’t until I finally understood and accepted by faith who God is that I was able to make sense of things. I had to accept that what the Bible says about God is true - that He is good, kind, and loving. I had to take these by faith, because often things that happen in our lives don’t seem to follow this. Once I accepted that God is who He says He is, then I could rest. So when something happens like my disease, I know that God loves me and will absolutely use it for good.

The Bible tells us that when the Israelites were ready to cross the Jordan River, the river was still flowing. The Levites, carrying the Ark of the Covenant, had to wade into the river first. I’m sure they were scared out of their minds. But only after they waded in did God stop the river upstream. If He had stopped it before they went in, it wouldn’t have been faith. Once the river was stopped, the Israelites were able to cross into the Promised Land. Their faith was in place before the trial, and then the blessing followed.

Like the Israelites, we, too, must have our faith in place. It’s important to have our quiet time, be in church, fellowship with believers, and participate in ministry. There’s no magic formula. Your journey is different from mine, and your devotion will look different than mine. That’s okay. God wants you to develop your relationship with Him in your unique way. We don’t know what the future holds for us, but I certainly don’t want to go through it without God. I hope if I’m any inspiration to you, it will be to have that relationship with God set in place. If a difficult time comes for you, your faith in God will be there. God will give you what you need when you need it. It’s that simple.